What is the last thing you dug in over — and was it actually about Christ, or about being right?

These are two of the most argued-over sentences in the New Testament, and it is worth slowing down on four small words: as is fitting in the Lord. Sunday, Jay Reynardus offered another way to hear them — as long as it is proper in the Lord. Which means there is a line. If what is being asked of you runs against Christ, you do not go along with it. Standing up and saying no is not rebellion there; it is faithfulness. That was radical in a world where the head of a household legally decided whether a newborn was kept or discarded. And notice Paul does not stop with one side. The very next breath is aimed at husbands: love, and do not be harsh. Jay was blunt about it — men have spent generations acting like ogres, and much of what makes marriage hard today is the harvest of that. This is no

What would a child in your house say your life is actually built around?

Paul says obey — and then, immediately, before anyone can weaponise it, he turns and says: do not provoke them. He knows us. He knows how fast instruction becomes leverage. So he closes the door in the same breath he opens it. Jay put the warning plainly on Sunday: do not discourage them so badly that they run, or so constantly that you break their spirit. The goal of parenting, he said, is not well-mannered children who stay off drugs and get into a good school. That is a fine outcome and a poor aim. The goal is to point them to Christ. Which is uncomfortable, because children live with us. They know exactly how much of our faith is real. If Jesus is at the centre on Sunday morning and absent from the house Monday through Saturday, they learn the lesson we are actually teaching: that t

Where are you doing eye-service — working for who is watching rather than for the Lord?

Not by way of eye-service. Not the version of your job you perform when someone is watching. Paul is writing into a world where slavery was everywhere — the Roman Empire held more people in it than any society in history. He does not call it good. He speaks into it, and what he says to the person with the least power in the room is startling: your work matters to God, and how you do it matters to God. Jay reached for a seventeenth-century monk named Brother Lawrence, who worked in a monastery kitchen and wrote that the noise and clatter of his kitchen was no different from the time of prayer. He left a small poem behind: Since I have no time to be a great saint by doing lovely things, make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates. Your work is as important to God as God is

Where do you hold power over someone — and would they describe you as just and fair?

Watch what Paul does in two sentences. He lifts the servant up — your labour is service to Christ Himself, and there is an inheritance coming. Then he turns to the man who owns him and levels him: you also have a Master in heaven. There is no partiality. The most powerful person in that household is told, in front of everyone, that he is not the ultimate authority in the room. He answers to Someone. Jay called it the moment Paul elevates the low and brings down the haughty. If you lead anything — a team, a company, a family — this is aimed at you. Justly and fairly is not a management style. It is what it looks like to remember that you are also under authority. And for anyone who has been on the receiving end of power used badly: the wrongdoer will be paid back. God is not indifferent

If Christ were genuinely at the centre of your home this week, what is the first thing that would change?

Step back and look at the whole passage this week. Marriage. Parenting. Work. Three arenas that could not be more different, and one thread running through all of them. Jay ended Sunday almost at a whisper, imagining people asking how you manage it: How do you husband? It's Jesus. How do you parent? It's Jesus. How can you do that when your job is falling apart? It's Jesus. That is not a slogan. It is the argument of the entire passage. A household does not flourish because the people in it try harder or find the right technique. Every generation invents a new technique, and Jay's point was that every one of them collapses in turn — because they are built on us. A household flourishes when Christ is at the centre of it. Your marriage belongs to God. Your children are being pointed some

Colossians 3:18-4:1 names three pairs — wives and husbands, children and parents, workers and the people they work for. Jay said this is not a ranking of who outranks whom, it is a household with Jesus at the center. Which of the three pairs is closest to your life right now, and what stood out to you when you read it?

Every relationship involves submitting to someone. Jay Reynardus on Colossians 3:18-4:1 and why a household only flourishes when Christ, not the people in it, is at the centre.

Jay said "submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord" can be read "as long as it is proper" — and that in a world where the father owned everything and decided everything, Paul's radical move was telling a wife she could say no when it went against Christ. How does hearing it that way change how that verse sounds to you?

Every relationship involves submitting to someone. Jay Reynardus on Colossians 3:18-4:1 and why a household only flourishes when Christ, not the people in it, is at the centre.

Jay listed the things we ask to fill a hole in us — a marriage, children, the big house with the Mercedes out front, the job — and said every one of them collapses under the weight. Which of those have you quietly handed that job to?

Every relationship involves submitting to someone. Jay Reynardus on Colossians 3:18-4:1 and why a household only flourishes when Christ, not the people in it, is at the centre.

Like on YouTube Subscribe on YouTube

Greater Than (Week 7)

Greater Than Our Relationships · Group Guide

Colossians 3:18-4:1

Jay Reynardus Sunday, August 23, 2026

Printable study guide

📄 Bible Study (English)📄 Estudio Bíblico (Español)

Icebreaker

Think of a household you spent a lot of time in growing up — yours or somebody else's. Looking back, what was actually at the center of it? Not what anyone said was at the center. What really was.

Discussion Questions

1
Colossians 3:18-4:1 names three pairs — wives and husbands, children and parents, workers and the people they work for. Jay said this is not a ranking of who outranks whom, it is a household with Jesus at the center. Which of the three pairs is closest to your life right now, and what stood out to you when you read it?
2
Jay said "submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord" can be read "as long as it is proper" — and that in a world where the father owned everything and decided everything, Paul's radical move was telling a wife she could say no when it went against Christ. How does hearing it that way change how that verse sounds to you?
3
Jay listed the things we ask to fill a hole in us — a marriage, children, the big house with the Mercedes out front, the job — and said every one of them collapses under the weight. Which of those have you quietly handed that job to?
4
On parenting Jay said the goal is not well-mannered kids who stay off drugs, and that the fastest way to lose them is Jesus on Sunday morning and no Jesus Monday through Saturday — "they live with you, so they know." Who is close enough to see what your Tuesday looks like, and what would they say your life is built around?
5
Brother Lawrence, who worked in a monastery kitchen, prayed "make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates." Jay put it this way: your honest work is as important to God as God is important to your work. What is the least glorious part of your week, and what would change if that counted?
6
A friend of 34 years asked Jay the secret to marriage and got one word back: outserve. Name the person who is hardest for you to serve right now, and one specific thing you will do for them before we meet again.

Subscribe to the podcast

Every Sunday sermon, in whatever app you already use.

YouTube Apple Podcasts Spotify RSS

See all our podcasts →

Take a Next Step

Plan a Visit Sundays at 11 AM in Kendall. Connect Card Tell us about your visit or ask a question. 2026 Bible Reading Plan A scripture-a-day journey through the Bible. Find a Community Group Where the church becomes a family.

Greater Than Our Relationships · Group Guide

Colossians 3:18-4:1

Discussion Questions

Related Reading

Washing Up the Plates: Why God Cares About Your Monday

Greater Than Our Relationships: What Actually Changes When Jesus Is at the Center

I Can't Remember the Day I Got Saved. Does That Count?

Subscribe to the podcast

Take a Next Step